Hello and welcome to the second edition of the Scriptorium Newsletter. Two in a row, eh? Not a bad start, even if the scribes do say so themselves.
To pick up on last month’s sweepstake and who correctly guessed how many people would receive the newsletter, the surprise winner was Brother Cuthbert, who correctly guessed over twenty. In fact, the actual number was 1,347. Apologies go to Mrs Duckworth of Valehouse, Derbyshire who accidentally had her inbox spammed when the email sending software glitched at a crucial moment. Following the prior’s ruling that the competition rules didn’t specify the recipients had to be different people, the result stands.
Social Media Update
The scribes have more or less abandoned Twit (formerly Ex) this last couple of months but have kept their account open as a placeholder. They might post the occasional Tweet (Xeet? TwiX? Aren’t they chocolate biscuits?) to point people to the scriptoriumscribes.com website, but are making no promises. They have been more active on Bluesky, but even that has been a bit quiet of late as they have been busy working and not slacking off browsing the web. Having to attend to the kitchen garden is cutting into their time as well. Those peas aren’t going to replant themselves after the blackbirds have been at them.
Literary Competition News
The scribes have had word that neither of their entries in the Prestigious Literary Competition they entered made any headway. Well, maybe one did but they won’t know for at least another month and quite possibly not until November. They have done an analysis of what made the Top 100 and what got longlisted and have come to the conclusion that what they entered isn’t the Crime/Thriller, Romance or Literary Fiction that dominates the list.
Undeterred, they are looking forward to receiving feedback on their entries and are pressing on with their other projects.
Works In Progress
Pass The Duchy is finished. Before going ahead to publication, the scribes will wait for the Prestigious Literary Competition feedback and make a decision about whether or not more work is needed on it. Until then, it’s a matter of being patient.
The mad scramble to get All Steamed Up edited and in a fit state is now over. The intention is to set it aside to get some distance to it, wait for the Prestigious Literary Competition feedback to arrive, and then have another go at it. More waiting, I’m sorry to say.
The scribes will turn their attention back to The Scriptorium Chronicle for another read through before sending it out for feedback. With other competing priorities it has fallen onto a bit of a back-burner of late. That’s the way it goes with this writing lark.
The Scriptorium Cookbook has also fallen onto the back-burner, which considering it is a recipe book seems somehow appropriate. Now that the rush with All Steamed Up is over, the scribes can get back to adding more of their favourites. Recipe testing has been making steady progress and the scribes can report that they have perfected how to make rice without it sticking to the bottom of the pan. They are on the lookout for a better recipe for mayonnaise as their last attempt resulted in something that not even Musky would touch.
The Wildflower Meadow (formerly the front lawn)
This seems to be The Year Of The Slugs if the devastation to the kitchen garden is anything to go by. The wildflower meadow has been largely unaffected and there is a lot starting to come into flower. This year’s unexpected arrivals include fringecups, linseed and fox-and-cubs, although seeds falling from the nearby bird feeder might have something to do with a couple of these. The spotted orchids that turned up last year are doing really well and are in full bloom.
As the scribes have an aversion to using slug pellets because of the harm it can cause to wildlife and are loathe to waste perfectly good beer on beer traps to solve the slug problem, they have enlisted the assistance of 16 million nematode worms to help them out. Results so far are promising and the casualty rate with the dwarf beans and cucumbers has begun to slow.
Dear Alexa,
My dog (well, not my dog as such as he belongs to us all) has started to attack the postman again. He did this last year and we had to invent BiteCoins to pay compensation for the damage and injuries he was causing. We found out that it wasn’t his fault (the dog’s, not the postman) as he had an infestation of horrible little blue ticks in his ear that was making him bad tempered and a few drops of horse liniment sorted him out. However, I’ve had a good look in both of his ears and it isn’t ticks this time. What should I do?
A Concerned Dog Owner
Dear Concerned Dog Owner,
Are you sure it isn’t blue ticks? They can be persistent little beggars and hard to get rid of. Give him a dose of horse liniment anyway just to be sure. There’s some in the cupboard in the scullery. Failing that, you have two options: A good dog trainer should be able to curb this unwanted behaviour. Alternatively, lend the postman one of the suits of plate armour from the hall. A few broken teeth might slow him down (the dog, and quite probably the postman too given the weight of the armour). If all else fails, there is a muzzle in one of the drawers you can use.
Alexa
Mrs Pritchett has written down the recipe for her famous Lemon Drizzle Cake but the scribes have somehow mislaid it. As they don’t want to give you the recipe for any old Lemon Drizzle Cake (and Mrs Pritchett is bound to notice when she reads this) they are hoping that it will turn up in time for the next newsletter. As something needs to go here, they are giving you the recipe for Summer Fruits Fool, which they are thinking of re-naming Rainy Fruit Froth given the weather we’ve been having of late.
Summer Fruits Fool
Takes around 15 minutes. Serves 4
- Go into the kitchen garden and pick one pound (450g) of summer fruits. This can be anything: redcurrants, blackcurrants, strawberries, rhubarb, gooseberries, apples, cherries—basically whatever is in season.
- Give the fruit a rinse, chop and peel if need be, and put it into a pan and cook over a low heat with a couple of tablespoons of water until the fruit is soft. Set it aside to cool.
- Once you’re not likely to burn yourself on hot fruit, press through a sieve to get rid of any seeds or stones. This isn’t a problem if you’ve only used, say, apples or strawberries but if you’ve used currants and cherries like the scribes did last time it is a step worth doing if you don’t like crunchy bits in your fool. Add a bit of sugar to taste if it is too sharp.
- Take 350g of double cream and 2 tbsp of milk and whisk until firm. Either do it by hand or ask if you can use Mrs Pritchett’s food mixer, which makes the job a lot easier. Remember to put it back afterwards.
- Gently fold the fruit puree into the whipped cream and place in serving bowls. Pop into the fridge to chill and set until it is ready to serve.
- Garnish with chopped nuts or a mint leaf or maybe half a strawberry to make it look posh. If there is any squirty cream in the fridge use this to make a fancy pattern round the edge. Don’t squirt any directly into your mouth as Mrs Pritchett will tell you off.
Mark Weaver 