Welcome to the third edition of the Scriptorium Newsletter, which is one more than the prior reckoned there would be. Quite a lot has happened on the writing front in the past month.
Literary Competition News
While the writing front might be busy, all has gone quiet on the Lit Comp front, mostly because the scribes haven’t entered any. They are still waiting patiently for the feedback from the Prestigious Literary Competition and may be doing so until November. This means that revisions to Pass The Duchy and All Steamed Up are in limbo until such time as this is received.
Works In Progress
The intention at the start of the month had been to return to The Scriptorium Chronicle for another read through, followed by further editing. The read through happened but that’s as far as it went. The good news is that the scribes think they have fixed the slow start to the Chronicle in January and that visually the pages seem more balanced. There is more of Musky, Alexa and Mrs Pritchett. The next (as yet unscheduled) release for beta readers will happen towards the end of summer as there is a lot of other stuff happening.
Talking of which, I suppose I’d best say what that other stuff is. Well, it’s not the Scriptorium Cookbook as the scribes have mostly been eating salads due to the hot weather. They did test the recipe for ice cream and have awarded it five stars and two thumbs up.
So to get to the point, the other stuff started with tidying up the Scriptorium. Tucked away on a shelf were two boxes labelled “Flipside”. The Flipside Of Somewhen is an unpublished novel of 73,000 words written 25 years ago and long since forgotten about. I had no intention of reading it, figuring that something I’d written three decades ago would be too awful to contemplate.
As well as the manuscript was an assortment of notes written on scraps of paper, a few drawings, a map of a location in the book and a rejection letter from a publisher saying that he had lost my submission and was now too busy to contemplate taking on another author. Little did I know it at the time but that publisher, Colin Smythe, was also Terry Pratchett’s agent. I think I’m going to frame his reply.
Then I made the mistake of starting to read the damn thing (the manuscript that is; I’d already read the letter from Colin) and was pleasantly surprised. It was not dreadful as I had expected. Sure, it was rough around the edges but the basics were there. I read it in a single sitting and thought, “Not bad, me from back then”. Reading it with 25 years of experience I could see what needed to be done to give it the polish to make it the best that it could be. That would mean not exactly a complete re-write but a brutal editing. In short, with Duchy, Steamed and the Scriptorium on hold, I had found my next project.
The Flipside Of Somewhen is not written in chapters as such, but “iterations” (for reasons, no further info will be forthcoming at this present time due to spoilers). The first Iteration was 4,000 words. Editing and re-writing brought this down to 3,500 and it became much tighter and opened better. The next Iteration of 19,000 words is holding more or less steady as although a lot has been cut, a lot of re-writing and new material has filled the gaps. It has also been brought up to date with today’s gadgetry. For example, while mobile phones existed 25 years ago, smart phones certainly didn’t.
I have no idea how the rest of the editing/re-writing/revision—call it what you will—will go so watch out for next month’s newsletter. I’m quite interested to see how it goes too.
Finally, I got around to putting some of The Scriptorium Chronicle illustrations onto Redbubble, so you can now buy mugs, T-shirts and stickers (and water bottles, shower curtains and all manner of things) to adorn your house/person/pet.
The Wildflower Meadow (formerly the Front Lawn)
As we stride purposefully into harvest season (the scribes got to the lettuce before the slugs did, but it was a tie with the birds for the red currants) the wildflower patch is looking more like a meadow and less like someone couldn’t be bothered to cut the grass. The spotted orchid has gone from flowering to developing seed pods. Fingers crossed that the seeds will mature enough to make more spotted orchids.
The scribes haven’t made a full list of all the plants growing. Some of the annuals from last year didn’t make it, but there have been new arrivals such as the evening primroses and ragged robin.
Top Secret Marketing Project
When I got into this writing lark, the last thing on my mind was marketing. To be honest, it wasn’t on my mind at all. It was all about the writing. Selling books was something that other people did in bookshops. Oh, the naivety…
Well, that’s about to change. I’ve signed up to help test a tool that will help authors to market their books better (or in my case, at all). It is being led by a well-known name in the publishing world. So far it has been answering a few questions (“What marketing have you already done?” Reply, “None”) but I should be getting a link to the website in the next couple of weeks. If nothing else, I’m taking this as a learning opportunity as it is something I’m really bad at. I know I need to get better so here goes.
Dear Alexa,
If, for the sake of argument, someone had been playing a game of Hunt the Kipper and had suffered a memory lapse and forgotten where they had hidden the kipper, what would you advise? Asking on behalf of a scribe who goes to a different scriptorium.
Forgetful Gameplayer
Dear Forgetful Gameplayer,
If you are absolutely sure that your “friend” really has forgotten, the first thing to do would be to borrow a dog such as Musky, present him with another kipper and say, “Find, boy.” I wouldn’t advise borrowing Musky as he’ll point to the kipper in your hand and consider the task completed. The next step will be to come clean and advise the prior, I mean tell your friend to advise his prior as it is about to become very stinky in this hot weather. Opening the windows before going into town to buy air freshener should be high on your friend’s to do list too.
Alexa
The scribes did plan to include the recipe for Mrs Pritchett’s famous Lemon Drizzle Cake this month but think that what with all the hot weather now that summer has finally decided to put in an appearance it might be better to do the recipe for ice cream instead. As it involves standing over a pan of hot cream for ten minutes, they suggest either starting it first thing in the morning when it is cooler or waiting until evening for the same reason.
Vanilla Ice Cream
Long before the invention of artificial refrigeration by William Cullen in 1755, the only way of getting ice was either waiting for the pond to freeze in winter or having an ice house filled with what you’d hauled out of the pond when it had frozen over. Either way, winter was the key factor in the production of ice and, as a result, ice cream was a luxury reserved for special occasions. Homemade ice cream is astonishingly easy to make—you don’t even need an ice cream machine for this easy and delicious recipe.
Serves 6
Prep time: 3 hours (most of it spent waiting)
Cook time: less than 20 minutes
Ready: 1 day
Ingredients
4 eggs, yolks only
100g golden caster sugar
1 tsp cornflour (optional)
300ml double cream
300ml whole milk
1 vanilla pod (or to be more exact, the seeds from said pod)
1. Check that there is enough room in the freezer as you’re going to need it. Also make sure that you have a large, shallow freezer-proof container that will fit in said freezer. If you can put ticks in both of these boxes proceed to step 2.
2. Separate the eggs and place the yolks in a large bowl. You don’t need the whites so set these aside. They can be frozen for later or used to make meringues. I’m going to have to ask Mrs Pritchett how to make meringues now, aren’t I?
3. Add the sugar to the yolks and whisk until pale and thick (the mixture, that is. If you start to go pale and thick, ask Alexa for the key to the medicine cabinet). If you are using cornflour (optional, but it helps to thicken the mixture) add this now and whisk in.
4. Put the milk and cream in a saucepan and put over a medium heat. Cut the vanilla pod open lengthways and scrape out the seeds with the back of the knife or a spoon. Add to the milk and cream. If you find yourself lacking a vanilla pod, use a few drops of vanilla essence as directed.
5. Bring the milk and cream to just below boiling point and slowly pour onto the eggs and sugar, whisking as it is being added. Now sieve the creamy mixture into a clean saucepan and set it over a very low heat. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon to stop if from catching and going lumpy. Make sure to get into the corners of the pan and keep stirring until the mixture has thickened and you can draw a clear line through it with the back of the spoon. It will take up to 10 minutes until the mixture is thick enough.
6. Pour the mixture into the large, shallow freezer-proof container you dug out in step 1 and allow it to cool to room temperature. Pop a lid on or cover when cooled and place in the fridge to chill overnight.
7. The next day, take the mixture out of the fridge and place it in the freezer. It will be in there for a total of three hours, but take it out after each hour and whisk it with a hand-held electric whisk. This disperses the ice crystals that form and keeps the ice cream smooth. After the third whisking, leave the ice cream in the freezer to set solid.
Remove the ice cream from the freezer for 10 minutes before serving so that you don’t need an ice pick to scoop it out.
Scribes’ Note:
This method of making ice cream is not so far off how it used to be made in the days before freezers. A large bowl was placed inside a tub filled with ice and salt (the salt lowers the freezing point and chills the ice cream faster). The rest is more or less the same apart from the bit about using an electric whisk.
Mark Weaver 