What a month, eh? March and half of April have flown by and we’re well and truly in spring. The snowdrops have come and gone, the daffs are mostly over, but the tulips are looking magnificent. The scribes have spent a lot of time in the priory grounds over the past few weeks and have to confess that not much writing got done. Some did, but not a lot. More on that later.
With the weather having turned a little cooler and wetter, and to be honest, a little more like April should be, the scribes have returned to their desks to catch up on the work that they should have been doing. For the record, they haven’t been slacking off, but have been engaged in hard, manual labour of the kind they joined the priory to get out of.
Works In Progress
This section should really be called Works Left Unfinished That I Need To Get Back To. With the recent break in the weather and a To Do list longer than your arm, all the attention has been on jobs that needed doing outside. We’ll get to that very shortly. While most writing experienced a hiatus (and by writing, we’re talking about editing, which still counts), not all did. The final recipes got added to The Scriptorium Cookbook, and we’re well over the 160 mark. There are a final few “how to do things” to be added (such as how to dry herbs), but I think the book is more or less there in terms of content. There are a few recipes to do some final testing with, and then there will need to be the photos and illustrations to go with it. While I’m doing this, I can at least get the text circulated for feedback and comments.
No word has been heard from the literary agent I sent The Scriptorium Chronicle to, as in radio silence, tumbleweed, nothing. This isn’t exactly unexpected. Experience has shown that if I hear *anything* back from half of the agents I send a submission to, then it’s par for the course. There are a lot of entries in the Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook that say something along the lines of “If you haven’t heard back from us in xx weeks then you can assume we’re not interested”. I mean, how long would it take to send out a short email? Too long, apparently.
As for the other Works In Progress, now that the time critical, must-do jobs have been done, I can return to them (which is why this Newsletter is going out now in mid-April, not at the beginning of the month as intended).
The Wildflower Meadow (formerly the Front Lawn)
While there hasn’t been much writing going on in the Scriptorium, a lot of activity has taken place in the priory grounds. The first, long stretch of retaining wall for the kitchen garden was completed and three tonnes of premium topsoil wheelbarrowed in. A whole bunch of fence panels were replaced as the best part of three decades of weather and strong winter winds had either battered them to pieces or made it simply a matter of time before they fell down. Two mature apple trees and a pear tree had to be taken down. None of this (apart from shifting the topsoil) was straightforward as the DIY shop ran out of cement; the fence panels needed more effort to put in as the fence posts and gravel boards were wonky; and the chainsaw didn’t want to start. The scribes are happy to report that four new trees have been planted to replace the three that came down. They have also planted more bee and butterfly friendly shrubs. The kitchen garden is looking tip-top and ready for planting out once the risk of a late frost has passed.
The wildflower garden itself is back to being flower-free (apart from one brave little viola) now that the snowdrops, crocuses, and glory-of-the-snow have finished flowering. The red clover and purple toadflax are coming along nicely. As yet there is no sign of either of the spotted orchids, although it is a bit early for them. Another thing there is no sign of is the yellow rattle that got sown last November.
If you remember, earlier this year the scribes found a mysterious seed in a packet of peacock orchid bulbs (which have still not come up), which they planted to see what it was. They can now report that it has germinated and has three long, thin, grass-like leaves. Photographs have been taken and run through a plant identification app and the results are inconclusive. At first they thought it might be some sort of palm, but this is starting to look unlikely. They still have no idea what it might be. The mystery bulbs they found in a border have now come up and flowered and turned out to be narcissussesses (which has far too many Ss to be a spelled properly). They are pleased that the snake’s head fritillary has come up as it is their first time growing these successfully.
What The Scribes Have Been Reading And Watching
There are two books that have now moved off the To Be Read pile. The first of these is The French Art of Not Trying Too Hard. Written by French philosopher Ollivier Pourriol (and translated by Helen Stevenson—it’s important to credit the translator too), the premise is that you don’t have to grind your way through 10,000 hours of practice to be good at something if you go about it in a more thoughtful, natural way. Tightrope walking, a footballer and piano player (two different people, but I suppose there must be footballing pianists out there somewhere), and freediving all feature in the telling. I found it thought-provoking and charming, and what it all boiled down to was that yes, you still need to practice, but don’t overthink it.
The other book was A Space Traveller’s Guide To The Solar System, by Mark Thompson. The premise of this is a tour of our solar system in a spaceship more advanced than what we have but still obeying the laws of physics (i.e. no warp drives or teleportation). You get launched and whizz past the Moon on your way to the sun, swing around and start to visit the planets one by one before eventually disappearing into deep space. It is delightfully written and gives a real sense of just how empty and far apart much of space is.
Having run out of things to watch on the telly, the scribes were given the heads-up that The 100 might be worth a go. Set 97 years in the future after a nuclear war has wiped out civilisation, 100 juvenile delinquents from a space station are sent back to Earth to see if it is now habitable.
The plot isn’t complicated. Neither is the dialogue.
If you can imagine a cross between Lord of the Flies and Lost in Space (the 2018 remake), you’ve more or less got the basics. So far it has been enjoyable hokum. There were 7 seasons made, of which we’re now in season 2 so there’s plenty more to come.
Dear Alexa,
I’ve been asked to come up with the latest excuse for why Mrs Pritchett’s Famous Lemon Drizzle Cake recipe still hasn’t been featured in her Recipe Corner. She was promised that it would appear in one of the early editions of the Newsletter, only it hasn’t and even though she’s been very polite and not mentioned it, it is becoming clear that she knows we’ve lost it and are too embarrased to ask her to write it down again. What should I do?
Lacking An Excuse
Dear Lacking An Excuse,
Rather than keep coming up with increasingly implausible excuses for why Mrs P’s Lemon Drizzle Cake recipe hasn’t been featured, have you ever thought that maybe honesty is the best policy, have a whip round for a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates, and ask very nicely if she would write it down for you again? In case I need to spell it out, give her the flowers and chocolates when you apologise and don’t scoff them yourself as happened the last time.
Alexa
Bagel Chips
Fancy a change from a bag of crisps for a snack? Got a stale bagel on your hands that you don’t know what to do with? Mrs Pritchett has the perfect way of using them up.
Serves 1 to 2 depending on how prepared you are to share
Prep time: 5 to 10 mins
Cook time: 15 to 20 minutes
Ready: 30 minutes tops, but giving them time to cool makes them better
Ingredients
1 large bagel, cut into thin discs (think coins)
1 to 2 tbsp oil
½ tsp garlic powder
Salt, to taste
Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 160ºC/fan 140ºC/gas 3.
2. In a mixing bowl, add the slices of bagel, oil and seasoning and gently mix to coat the slices. Lay out on a lightly greased baking tin (or on top of some baking paper) in a single layer and bake for 15 to 20 minutes.
The bagel chips will get crispier as they cool, so it might be an idea to make these ahead of time. Either serve alone (i.e. don’t share them) or with dips such as sour cream with chives or hummus.
Scribes’ Notes:
As well as garlic and salt, the scribes are also partial to paprika and salt, and Italian seasoning and salt. The have tried garlic, paprika and Italian seasoning all together and that was nice too. You can grate some Parmesan cheese in there as well if you like. Feel free to experiment with other flavours.
In theory, the bagel chips should remain fresh for about 2 weeks when stored properly in an airtight container, but none have ever made it that long as they are invariably devoured as soon as they are made.
Mark Weaver 